Last Responder

By Ryan Helfenbein

Every community has a group of individuals who respond to the call of duty no matter the time of day or night. These essential first responders arrive on the scene to give their professional care and oversight in law enforcement, firefighting, and emergency services alike. But what about the special group of people who work quietly behind the scenes during life’s most difficult moments? The empathetic community members who care for those who passed on and comfort those who weep. What are the roles of the “Last Responders” within our community?

Now it is understandable to picture a tall, top-hatted, tuxedo wearing Lurch-like figure when thinking of these night owls. Undertakers aren’t just people in suits who handle those who pass before us, they are empathetic guides who walk surviving family members through one of the most difficult journeys they’ll ever make. When a family is stricken with grief and heart ache, it is hard to think straight – let alone plan a meaningful one-of-a-kind tribute, with no do overs. That is where the Undertaker shines. They become a coach to those left behind to create a meaningful tribute to a life lived, taking into consideration the needs of everyone involved.

In the olden days, the Undertaker was there to help select the casket, choose between church or funeral parlor and maybe even point you in the direction of where to pick out a floral arrangement or two. They often remained in their dark workspaces and simply provided advice on things like cemeteries and monuments. Today, the Undertaker has much more specialized and well-rounded skills, allowing them to provide a hands-on approach to inclusive care and guidance to their community. They organize the outside venue for a unique memorial, catering with special foods and cocktails, custom floral arrangements, personalized placement in their privately owned cemetery, creation of granite or bronze memorials, and even selection of a casket or urn from their very own casket organization. They carry licenses in funeral service, cemetery management, cremation care, and preplanning insurance. Oh … and let’s not forget about our four-legged family members as well. Yes, your Undertaker of today is also certified to provide the oversight in seeing that your pets are cared for just like any other member of the family. The Undertaker now brings all areas of death care under the umbrella of their supervision while keeping a sharp eye on the details. After all, there’s only one chance to get it right. A family need not be burdened with multiple providers to create that unique memorial, they need to only seek out their one community Undertaker. 

The Undertaker of today is part planner, part counselor and, quite frankly, part magician. They take stories and personality shared and transform them into an experience that all can partake in. This modern-day Undertaker knows how to balance professionalism with warmth, allowing space for tears while reminding you it’s OK to smile at the memories. They don’t just organize the memorial; they provide comfort and closure when it feels like the world has stopped spinning. 

In small towns and big cities alike, these “Last Responders” are the unsung heroes who help us when life feels overwhelming. They’re not just there to care for the departed – they’re there for the living, too. They’re the people who show up when it matters most, offering comfort, compassion, and the professional guidance in helping us say goodbye with grace through creating a unique tribute to a life lived. In our community today, the Undertaker isn’t just important – they’re essential.

Ryan, owner, supervising mortician and preplanning counselor at Lasting Tributes on Bestgate Road in Annapolis, offers area residents solutions to high-cost funerals. He can be contacted at (410) 897-4852 or [email protected].