Questions about cremation answered

By Ryan Helfenbein 

Over the last few months, we have witnessed the unthinkable when it comes to trust in death care. A level of breakdown in ethics and morals one could never have imagined occurring in our very own backyard. You may have heard or read about the substantial number of uncremated human remains that were found at a local crematory, several months after their passing. Families were entrusting their loved one to what appeared to be a reputable funeral and cremation service. Later, they found that cremation never occurred.

In the past, verifying that a facility was licensed may have provided the reassurance that business was being conducted honestly and fairly. After learning about these disgusting acts of unethical behavior, it is now clear that the consumer must be armed with the proper questions to ask when it comes to choosing a cremation provider.

We often get phone calls from consumers asking about the price of cremation before anything else. While cost can be a big factor in day-to-day decisions, our years of experience have led us to believe that people ask about cost not because it’s the most important factor, but because they are unsure what other questions to ask. Quite simply, if we look at cremation solely based on cost, we are bound to get burned. 

Three key questions we need to ask well before budget and cost are: Do you own a crematory, do you only perform cremations of the families you assist and how do I know that is my loved one in that urn? These three questions will provide the necessary facts before any discussion of cost. This brings the most important aspect in my profession to the surface, CARE. 

Do you own a crematory? The answer to this question will ultimately tell you where the accountability for each cremation starts and stops. You might consider avoiding firms that outsource cremations to third party vendors whom you may not know. Another question that could piggyback this is: do you and your staff oversee the transportation of my loved one from place of death, or is this, too, being outsourced by hired help? Unfortunately, sacrifice in care during transportations is another article in itself.  

Do you only perform cremation of the families you assist? This question provides the assurance that the crematory is not  performing mass amounts of cremation for anyone willing to pay them.  This can include other funeral homes, store front cremation societies, hospitals and body donation outfits. Working with a crematory owned by a funeral home means that you can be positive that all documentation conforms to the standards you demand. This question provides the assurance that they have put ethics and morals above greed and wealth.

How do I know that is my loved one in that urn? In the arsenal of cremation questioning, this might be your cannon.  You are asking for an explanation of their identification process, the care that the deceased receives, and reassurance that only one cremation is performed at a time.  This process should include multiple identification tags, bands and metal discs.  Your provider must also be able to explain the paperwork process and where signatures are required and when. 

All in all, the death care profession will forever be based around trust.  As consumers today put cost in the forefront, we find some in the profession beginning to take short cuts to accommodate what is being asked.  Don’t settle for pricing information alone.  Ask these three questions for the assurance that your loved one will be ethically and individually cared for, that strict oversight will occur through the entire process, and that the remains in the urn will in fact be those of the one you love.