Downsizing … the Holidays

By Marilyn Leek

The holidays were over and much enjoyed, but as Sarah looked around her home, she suddenly felt completely overwhelmed. Now she had to pack up and put away two Christmas trees (one small and one large), a 19-piece Nativity set (a Wise Man had gone missing over the years), serving dishes, the fine china, and miscellaneous indoor decorations. As she plopped down on the couch next to her husband Phil and let out a heavy sigh, he said, “I know how you feel.” It was Phil’s job to put up and take down the many outdoor decorations the couple had accumulated over the years.

When Sarah and Phil’s children were small, the couple began a tradition of really doing the holidays, hosting large family gatherings at their home – it became their “thing.” Their children and, then, grandchildren (the oldest of whom was now a teenager), loved the holidays at Sarah and Phil’s house. Despite offers from their adult children and their spouses in recent years to host the holidays, Sarah and Phil had always declined. If they were honest, this was due in part because not hosting the holidays seemed like an admission of defeat – a sign of getting older. But now, admitting they were exhausted, Sarah and Phil began to rethink how the holidays might look going forward, and what they’d do with all their holiday stuff.

Letting go of holiday hosting and traditions can be difficult, but it can also be rewarding for you and your loved ones. Communication is key to the transfer of “hosting ownership.” Sit the next generation down and let your true feelings be known. Then let them respond with their thoughts and ideas.  

Perhaps one of your adult children would like to host and use the family dishes that have been used every year since who knows when. Or, maybe, the next generation would like to take turns hosting, so everyone could share the “wow, that’s a lot of work” realization, and new traditions could be established.  

Even if no one wants to host the same way you have in the past, it can still be a joyous family occasion. Your silverware that needed hand-washing could be swapped out for their regular set, but the food would still taste amazing, and cleaning up would be a breeze. The gorgeous Christmas dishes you always put out might not be used, but your family will still be together to enjoy the holidays.

Free of the burden of hosting duties, there’s now the opportunity for you to enjoy the holidays in a whole new way. You’ll have the time and energy to interact with your children and grandchildren, forming new traditions and great memories. Plus, you won’t be exhausted come January.

As for all of those decorations, leave them out the final time you host, and ask everyone to take what they want – an easy way to not have to pack them all up again! And, as your decorations are used and handed down, the holiday memories you helped create will live on. How wonderful it will be for your grandchildren to tell their grandchildren, “That was your great-grandmother’s Nativity set, and it’s always been missing a Wise Man.”

Marilyn Leek, a Certified Senior Move Manager® and owner of Chesapeake Transitions, has provided guidance and support for Maryland seniors and their families for nearly 20 years, including well-regarded and well-attended estate sales.