Purposeful Living

By Dr. Jim David

What is my purpose in life? What motivates me to get out of bed in the morning or after my afternoon nap!? I suggest our purpose in life changes with our time of life. I remember asking myself this question in my early thirties. The answer that popped into my head then was to be the best possible husband and father. That is still a valid life purpose but now I have shifted into the broad category of pursuing loving kindness and service to others.

BENEFITS

What are some reasons or benefits to identifying your current life’s purpose? Here are a few:

• Gives Meaning to Life. Remember Viktor Frankl’s, “Man’s Search for Meaning”? He was a psychiatrist in a Nazi death camp who maintained that, regardless of our current level of adversity, we can find within ourselves reason to live. We seem to have an intrinsic need or drive to live in a meaningful manner.
• Simplifies Our Life. Once we identify our life’s purpose, subsequent or subordinate choices are easier to make. For example, if you have dedicated your life to doing all in your power to create a more equitable, satisfying, and just society, then making decisions consistent with your purpose will be quite obvious. You no longer need to agonize over decisions.
• Motivates Your Life. As we age, some of us may suffer painful feelings of loneliness related to social isolation. This may include lack of interest in formerly pleasant activities and unexplained fatigue accompanied by a lack of purpose in living. Fortunately, developing a sense of purpose will likely reduce social isolation and loneliness.

A DEFINITION

A purposeful life is finding meaning and satisfaction by living in a congruent manner with your True Self while contributing to the betterment of others. The key elements here are your True Self and actively caring for and serving others. The truism is that in giving we receive.

How do we connect with our True Self? The answer is to completely let go of our negative and positive cognitions for a time and luxuriate in simply Being. This process provides the experience, the startling reality, that in our essence or core lies love, peace, and joy. We bury our essence or True Self with unending thoughts as we habitually live In Beta brain waves. Emptying or quieting our minds can be done but it requires time and commitment.

CREATE A PURPOSEFUL LIFE

Begin by defining your values and priorities. This requires being true to yourself rather than pleasing others. A classic book by Sheldon Kopp, “If You Meet the Buddha on the Road, Kill Him,” articulates the wisdom of connecting with and trusting our True Selves. Be careful to notice and delete any self-limiting self-talk such as, “I don’t know!” or “I can’t do it!” Whatever self-talk you accept will be true for you.

Set goals that are meaningful for you. Goals need to be realistic and achievable. Visualize yourself achieving your goals. Throw out any self-defeating cognitions. Visualize yourself being successful.

Live mindfully. This is a challenging proposition! It involves being fully present in each moment. This requires quieting the mind while observing what is happening with your mind. The second criterion for mindfulness is to observe without judging, to experience without thinking. Some type of meditative practice is required as a precursor or foundation for living in mindfulness.

Be kind and help others. This seems obvious but it requires focusing on others while being less self-absorbed. Living in community and getting to know your neighbors opens up this possibility. We are not all called to be St. Teresa of Calcutta who served the homeless and dying in India, but we can find our niche if we commit to finding it.

Doing what you love is essential to deciding your life’s purpose. If we do not find fulfillment in what we are doing, we will soon stop doing it. Learn more at www.youaligned.com. 

Some of you may still be struggling to identify and articulate for yourself a life purpose that fits or feels just right, that resonates with you. There are many paths you may take. One is to examine your current lifestyle. If it is genuinely rewarding, you may decide that it is your life purpose!

Another path is to develop and write down a purpose statement for your life to crystallize your focus. Also, at bedtime ask yourself what is my life purpose? Sleep on it. In the morning, quiet yourself while remaining in bed, allowing the answer to effortlessly float into your mind.

Lastly, our religious or spiritual upbringing may have already given us our life purpose. In first grade, I was taught that God made me to know him/her, love him/her and serve him/her in this world and to be happy with him/her in the next. “The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth am I Here For?”, by Christian pastor Rick Warren, is a classic work on this subject. Research confirms that individuals with a strong sense of purpose tend to live longer and healthier and are more psychologically resilient. An excellent return for a relatively small investment.

Dr. Jim David is a retired psychotherapist in Silver Spring, MD, who adheres to positivity in all areas of life. Currently he does Personal, Spiritual and Executive Coaching. Visit his website at www.askdrdavidnow.com or email at [email protected].